Graveyard of Broken dreams

As I attended the funeral, the ambiance was filled with sorrows. 

I saw my broken dreams lying down in the coffin. 

Covered with beautiful dress. 

It looked serene. 

Maybe it knew that it has to end. 

These dreams has come to an end. 

It took me some time,
to allow them to fully cover the coffin and to be let to be buried. 

It was as if, no one was bothered about the funeral. 

My cries and screams very invisible. 

But I stood beside it

Took a deep breathe

Closed my eyes

With all the strength and courage I had, I closed the lid. 

I looked at it while it’s being gradually closed. 

That’s all. 

Thats the most it could go. 

The coffin was let down. 

I took some soil and threw it

The began to bury it with the soil 

Once done, the tombstone was held 

It was written, ‘memories’

Everyone left. 

I stood by it. 

Wishing I could dig it out and still give life to it. 

Tears ran on my cheek. 

I then decided to go.

These memories are meant to be in this graveyard of broken dreams 

And couldn’t do much but to walk away.

24 things I've learned in 24 years

1. Motivation and inspiration is not enough. Grit, discipline and perseverance are the only things that      will help you to get what you want.

2. Do one thing at a time. Focusing your energy on many things at once will drain you.

3. People love differently. Your loved ones wont show love the way you want them to but that doesn’t      mean they don’t love you.

4. You will not be happy always and that’s fine.

5. Being silent doesn’t mean you’re weak.

6. Change is never a bad thing.

7. Happiness is made of two things; it’s a choice and it’s an inside job.

8. People change and grow. So you either grow with them or without them and that’s fine.

9. Self care is very important.

10. Your parents are humans as well and they too, got feelings.

11. Always, always, always, be mindful of your thoughts. Never let negativity in.

12. Learning doesn’t stop at college. You learn everyday and keep reading always.

13. Say ‘yes’ to more things. Experiences, skills, and things that scare you the most, just say yes.

14. Never kill a person’s hope. Maybe that’s all they got left.

15. Learn to prioritize and plan things ahead. You'll never get back the time you've wasted.

16. Do whatever you want. It’s your life after all.

17. Don’t take everything personally. The world doesn’t revolve around you.

18. Gratitude is everything. You won’t get more if you don’t appreciate what you have now.

19. Just go with the flow. You never know what’s gonna happen in a years time. Live in the present.            Yes, goals are important, work hard on them but don’t get too carried away with them.

20. You are exactly where you’re meant to be right now.

21. It’s okay to fail and be called a failure. What is not okay is you choosing to stay as one.

22. If today you feel you’ve achieved more than your yester-self, then I think you’re good to go.

23. Not everyone you know is a well wisher. Be careful with whom you share your joys and future              plans.

24. Last but not least, you can’t fight with the will of God. What’s meant for you will always find its way        to you.

25. Comfort zones will kill you

26. There's more to life than finding a life partner.

Different Paths

My biggest fear has always been the love of my life falling
out of love of me and finding happiness with someone else.
Maybe I was in too much of fear, that I attracted it.
When I found out, I was devastated. 

So many questions running around my mind.
We were supposed to get married, what happened?
What happened to us? What happened to all those future planning?
The wedding theme? The kids names we’ve planned?
The kind of house we wanted to live in? The kisses? The I love you’s?
The cuddles and snuggles? What happened? 

I realised, I was in the midst of a funeral.
Funeral of his feelings for me.
Funeral of his love for me.
All gone. It took me a while to grasp it, to understand it. It wasn’t easy.
I had to bury all my broken dreams and my shattered heart, deep down 6ft underground. 

I saw his pictures with her, happy.
I used to promise him something.
I always wanted him to be happier than the happiest person on Earth,
and maybe I should have added ‘with me’
and silly me I didn’t and maybe the universe did not catch it.
He was the happiest, in those photos with her.
I could hear my heart shattering, literally, loud and clear.
Like the roots were pulled out of the vase full of soil. It hurts.
I couldn’t swallow, couldn’t breathe.

And of course, I have to keep my promise you see.
I decided to back off.
But deep down, I was hoping he would tell me it isn’t him and he only loves me.
But, He didn’t. He kept quiet.
And I understood.
Not a word and that cut me deeper than any wounds I’ve seen in life. 

But one thing that was soaring up high was his ego.
His ego that he’s right and what he did isn’t wrong.
He always claims he’s busy and being the understanding girlfriend, I will not disturb him.
Not to bring anybody down, but I am always busy with my career as well.
I still managed to find time for him and thats when i learnt that I am not his top priority
and well in fact not even in his list to begin with.
And I started wondering, ‘who is he?’
I started questioning if this is the person I used to love and wanted to be the father of my child.
It was ugly. I was disgusted to see his face.
This wasn’t the person I fell in Love with.
One thing he has changed in my life is the perception of love.
I’m not going to open doors for love again. It doesn’t exist and it’s no more in my life.
Enough damage and this heart of mine can never take another heartbreak.

It’s been a year, I still cry each time something reminds me of him.
The worst part is that, thoughts about him not only accompanies me during my lonely nights
but also creeps in during the busiest time of the day. 

I don’t believe in this thing called love and maybe even if it exists, it’s not meant for me. 

So whatever I’ve had with him, I’m happy.
We’ve parted ways and in fact it was never the same path to even begin with.
I don’t wish to lay my eyes on him ever again.
But I pray he’ll  be the happiest person on this whole entire world and I mean it. 

Take care my love, one thing that was real was my love and never have I ever thought to leave you.
If I ever have the chance again,
I wish I would have never went to that field on that day and would have not met you
cause this pain is just too unbearable.
You be you and I will be me.
May the path we had just remain as memories for us to be cherished.